


The brightest star shines just for us

by dabbingmosquito



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Anxiety, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Gen, Light Angst, Platonic Soulmates, References to Depression, but also lonely, dont mind the actual time difference, felix is a loner, felix is in sydney, it's their birthday, jisung is in seoul, jisung is popular, projection ig
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-17
Updated: 2019-02-17
Packaged: 2019-10-29 23:58:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17817983
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dabbingmosquito/pseuds/dabbingmosquito
Summary: Legend says that there's a star for everyone. Every star shines the brightest for two people. Those two people are soulmates.Felix is in Australia, waiting for his 18th birthday alone because he has no friends.Jisung is in South Korea, waiting for his 18th birthday to finish because there are too many people, but none of them are his friends.





	The brightest star shines just for us

**Author's Note:**

> i started writing this in october and actually forgot that this existed. i found it yesterday and i really liked the idea so i hope you enjoy it.

Night breeze was caressing his face. He was sitting on the hood of his car with a blanket over his lap and a plastic cup filled with red wine. Music was blasting from his phone breaking any silence that was there before.

 It’s actually kinda sad if you think about it. Felix was all alone anticipating, but not really, for his 18th birthday. But truth to be told, he was lonely. The closest he had to a friend was his seatmate that he occasionally talks to only because he is very talkative and won’t let Felix catch a break, but other than that everyone else were just acquaintances.

 To Felix’s mind, celebrating him becoming legal with his family was truly lame and he actually didn’t want to get any smooches from his parents, aunts, cousins etc. Because of that he came to a last minute idea to take the car keys and drive himself to a hill where he would wait for the clock to strike midnight and drink his loneliness away. It was easier that way, right?

 Taking the last sip from the cup, he checked the time on his phone, showing there were three minutes left before the big 18. He rolled off the hood to fetch another wine bottle he had brought with him. Still kinda tipsy since he had never drank alcohol let alone drink the whole bottle by himself - he is so going to hate himself in the morning when the hangover kicks in.

 Stumbling on his own feet he somehow manages to get up on the hood again, almost falling down on his butt two times. After successfully climbing up and making himself comfortable again, he opened the bottle and poured its content into his cup.

 The scenery itself was very calming since cars usually didn’t pass that often around that area so everything surrounding Felix was nature, starry sky and the beautiful city in front of him. He could hear the crickets and the bugs swarming around talking to each other in their own language Felix wasn’t able to understand. He always wondered, if he couldn’t understand animals did that mean the animals weren’t able to understand humans either or did they only know one human language?  

 ‘’Let’s get this wine!’’ he yelled. The alcohol is starting to play with his thoughts. Was he really thinking about talking animals and him talking in cricket and mosquito language? And that sentence he just screamed out of nowhere; he felt so lame the same exact moment the words left his mouth, but who cared, he was here to get wasted. Everything that happens here, stays here which is probably going to happen since he will drink away any sanity he has left and he’s going to forget every humiliating thing he will do.

 Felix leaned on the glass stargazing the sky, or at least what he wanted to do, everything was blurry for him, mostly the wine getting to him and the tears collecting in the corners of his eyes. Even when sober, his mind was filled with self-critical and obsessive thoughts that would haunt him for days, sometimes weeks but he had always tried to shut them off. He has to have good grades, he has to be happy, his parents gave him everything, he had everything that he wanted but was he selfish if he always longed for something more? Yes, he was, no he is very thankful and still will be, for everything he received. There would be days where he would be over the moon for nothing but also in few hours he would lie on his bed, pull the curtains and play music while he would just think about life in general. ‘’Am I happy?’’ he’d ask himself countless of times. The answer would always be ‘’I am, but…’’ so he would just agree yes I am happy, but just today I don’t feel like it, every single time. So now, him being drunk didn’t really help out the situation. The problem was he always wanted a friend, someone he could talk to about everything, from being crackheads together to talking about their issues and helping each other out. Consequently, the spiraling chain of thoughts of him wanting at least one friend, a best friend or like a soulmate best friend was everything he wished for. A person that would ease this empty void. Yes, that is what he wants.

 The alarm went off, meaning he’s officially an adult now. Congrats to him for staying alive for 18 years. Felix knew he would feel the same, but he had still hoped for something magical to happen. Feeling disappointed at the situation, he brought the wine cup back to his mouth, looking down on it, debating whether he should do it or not. The decision is quite clear when he refills his cup again and looks up to see the brightest star in the sky, thinking that his platonic soulmate is also enjoying the view.

  
  


_I always had so many people next to me,_

_that I called friends_

_turns out_

_they just_

_cared about popularity_

_but I was lonely so accepted them_

_and pretended I cared about them like I wished_

_they cared for me_

  


Jisung has spent hours partying at his own birthday party because that was expected from one of the most popular person in school, right? But everything felt so unnatural, so fake. Yes, those people cared about his birthday but only because of the party he was expected to throw. Yes, everyone was happy Han Jisung turned 18 years today and they showed it by chugging every type of alcohol he had bought for his guests, and by filling his apartment with smokes from god knows what type of cigarettes and weed. He got used to those antics, everyone inviting him to parties, welcoming him with wide smiles and giving him only the best snack and best alcohol they had stolen from their parent’s cabinet and making small chat with him just to ensure that Han Jisung, the most popular and fun guy, would talk about their party being the best and bringing even more people when they throw another party.

 

_Earlier that day~_

 

It was September 14th today. It was a normal day like any other day of the year for Jisung, except he would become an adult internationally and the whole school expects from him to celebrate that special day with them. If it was up to him, he wouldn’t do anything. Truthfully, he didn’t even care about his birthday and if he did, it was not like he had anyone special to celebrate it with. His parents were in Malaysia, working hard and sending him money so he could have a small apartment, food and allowance.

 He would sometimes think, what would’ve happened if he had stayed there with his family and not moving here to try and persuade his dreams of becoming an artist. That has been going great, he hasn’t done anything. He tried writing lyrics, but people told him to stop pretending to be smart and deep, he’s pretty and that is enough. So now he is the funny and gorgeous guy that lives alone and throws parties every other week.

 After answering dozens of happy birthday messages from random people, he finally got up from bed, checking if he has some food in the fridge before leaving for school, but he was welcomed once again with nothing in it. Making a mental note to buy something, even though he knows he won’t buy anything, he walks back to his bedroom to get ready for school.

The rest of the day he spent going from one class to another and saying thanks and can’t wait to see you tonight to strangers in the hallway. Hoping that maybe, with some miracle, people won’t show up or they will pull a prank on him so he would think he’s a nobody and has to spend the birthday alone. Well, that sounds better than his apartment smelling of sweat, drunk and horny teenagers because at least him being alone would mean that one person there cares about him than hundreds of people and still him being the only person caring about Han Jisung.

 That is how Jisung ended up next to Han River at 3 in the morning. The celebration just became too much at one point so he just got up from the couch and left, leaving his guests behind. Surely, they wouldn’t even notice he had left. I mean that’s how he wanted to see it, he wanted to pretend he was nonchalant about the whole situation but actually every step that led him away from the people activated this inner turmoil in his stomach. There was this insecurity where he knew they don’t care about him and he didn’t care about them, but what if they really are his friends and they get offended he has left them alone in his apartment with liquor and narcotics. ‘’No Jisung, snap out of it.’’, he’d say to himself, hoping that maybe he’ll actually believe it, ‘’They don’t care. Don’t be dumb Jisung. You think you have everyone, but you know it, you don’t have anyone at all.’’ Just when the lock clicked, he’d already felt relief that he had been seeking for hours. Small steps, then faster pace until he finally ran down the stairs and exited the building. His running didn’t stop there though. He ran and ran and ran until his lungs burned so he shouted incoherent words leaving people in the street shocked and confused.

 Somehow he ended at the Han River. He always thought when he was younger that he was someone important and that the river was named after his family name, Han. But, later Jisung had come to the conclusion that he was a very imaginative child because imagine being important, he’d have to laugh.

 Was his mind at ease now that he was away from a wild crowd? He wanted to be, but a new panic washing over him, ruined any chance of him being calm. Did he bring his phone? Where are his keys? Did he have at least some money on him? How will he get back home? Home. Home. Home. Jisung tried saying it few times, but the word was just so difficult to say, he’d stuttered. He knew what that word meant, he felt it before, but how years passed, home became this word that would hurt him. Yes, he had a roof over his head, but he was homeless. His legs tired from the run and long walk, Jisung found a nice place nearby that looked clean enough as much as grass and dirt can get clean. He laid down placing hands under his head as a pillow.

 Stars were always so beautiful. Jisung wondered, have they ever felt lonely? There were so many of them, so close to each other. Did they care or they weren’t touched by it at all. He’d remember how beautiful sky used to be but how time passed and cities got brighter, they slowly disappeared, one by one until there wasn’t any left.

 Before, when he was still happy, he’d believe that every person had their own star and that that star would shine the brightest of them all saying that it is yours. There was this story his mum used to tell him before bed, each star has two people to take care of, those two people that shared it, they were soulmates. Earlier, in the history when the true meaning of them were discovered, fights have started, people thought soulmates were indicating on romantic type of soulmate, totally unaware, that sometimes friends mattered more than romantic love.

 At the beginning, everything was perfect and peaceful. Naturally, as time passed, the original story was changed, converted into something else completely different from the authentic version. People changed too, suddenly, loving people of the same sex in more than a friendly way was forbidden. Parents would either kill or disown their children if they’re soulmate were not the opposite gender. It was ill of them to support that kind of relationship, completely unaware of the truth, it didn’t matter, they were soulmates. Love is love. It was up to them to see if they loved each other better as friends or lovers.

 Jisung laughed at himself. He used to be so naive, believing such things, non-sense basically. Yet, the idea of a person existing that would be your best friend, or understanding you without needing to explain anything to them, a person that would care for you, sparked some intrigue in Jisung. Maybe, just maybe it was real and not a bedtime story, but it is just too good to be true.

 He had been dozing off, tiredness taking him in its arms. His vision had been getting more blurry, until he had finally saw it. There it was, the only star appearing on pitch black sky, shining so brightly just for him. Maybe there actually is a person for him in this world. Maybe that person could be his friend, his best friend, his soulmate. And maybe Jisung was looking forward to it.

 ‘’I will meet you one day and I will be everything you ever wished for. One day I will meet you and you will be everything I wished for too.’’

 That night Jisung fell asleep knowing that every next tomorrow will be one day closer to finally meeting his person.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading it. i hope i didn't let you down and you enjoyed reading this story as much as i did creating it. i am not sure if there's a sequel needed, so let me know!!  
> if you wish you can find me on twitter @/dabbingmosquito


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